Parents know their children better than anyone else therefore listen to them. Their verbal and non-verbal language tells you what is going on with them.
Do what you say. Often times parents make threats or promises that they do not follow through on or keep. This creates instability and cause the child not to trust what you say. Therefore when you say “I am going to the shop to come back, I will be a few minutes” Do not go out for four hours.
Asking your children to tell little white lies like “If Sarah calls tell her I am not home” or ” Do not tell your dad I bought these shoes today” causes problems because you are essentially teaching your children to lie by building up on little white lies.
Sometimes parents can be motivated fear. Parents are afraid that their children will get hurt and sometimes we tell them all sorts of things, presenting them as facts in order to get your children to comply. E.g. “You will fall if you go any higher on the swing”, “If you eat too many sweets your teeth will fall out”.
Playing with your kids can greatly improved communication. Sometimes as parents we get so caught up in the adult world that we forget that in order to connect and communicate with our kids we ourselves have to come down to their world. Playing side by side activities and allowing them to direct play encourages them. You can listen and learn what is going on with your child through their play and playing with them.
Sometimes we need to find how to rephrase our speech so that it comes out positive instead of negative or a downright “no”. This can assist in how your day children respond to you and also shows them that you are listening and trying to help them.
When we approach things in generally a positive way the times we do have to say a downright “NO” will cause children to respond and listen. Our “NO” has to be firm and assertive and not a tool we use all the time since it becomes less effective when overused.
The above guidelines are to assist in providing information, advice and to encourage feedback from your children rather than demands or orders. The guidelines will help you to help them in listening to you. However, they might not always comply with your request, just as you do with them, they may say no but suggest acceptable alternatives to you both.