Strange Feeling

I have been feeling a lot of emotions in the past few weeks coming out of the child abuse awareness going on in Trinidad. Many of my emotions and opinions came out in this blog. What really has me stunted today is something a colleague told me. I guess I know I am doing work and work that I love to do. My job is calling and i give up a great deal to make sure the job is done. I am involved in many programmes and I’m doing many different things. What stunted me is the opinion that I raised the bar to new heights with the projects I am involved in and just the work I am doing. My colleagues felt i was making a difference. That to me is a big deal.

I mean I know I am doing a lot of work but its just different when someone points it out and elaborates. It feels good to know that I am not spinning top in mud because sometimes this job can feel that way. Especially when trying to interact with untrained personnel.

The other day I felt upset that some of my peers started to treat me with a reverence and respect that I felt I did not deserve. but I realised that all this stems from the changes I have gone through. I have gained experience about life that is new, I have gained experience in my academics and in my career. Things are going so interesting in my career. I am doing the things that I want to do and that I love. Many of the issues I deal with on a day to day basis are pretty serious and often serves as a reality check for me. I think I have gotten more serious about life and about my career. Different things matter to me now that before. I feel a sense of fulfillment that is unexplainable. I guess these turn of events in my life have caused me to interact with my peers and colleagues differently. Maybe it is a respect that I have earned and I am grateful that people around me value my opinion and listen to me in a serious way. I am thankful for the things I have and my ability to make a difference. It is indeed a strange feeling for me to be viewed as a person making a difference because I am still young to the field of psychology and there is so much more to learn. But the lesson of today for me is I can learn and still make a difference while learning and be taken seriously in the process because I approach my work and life in genuine way.

Jenna Samaroo