Anger Management for Everyone…

People just seem to be very angry all the time these days. Trinidad has become an angry and aggressive society. This anger and aggression, I have noticed stems from the busy lifestyles we are now living. There are demands all the time, the workplace, the family, the friends, school, and the list goes on.

Children in schools are no different. Sometimes, especially the teenagers, tend to be even more angry and aggressive towards their peers, their families, their teachers and those in authority. This anger and aggression from our youths, most times, come from what is going on in the home or their relationship with those in authority. This is just my experience I am sharing…
The other day I was asked to make a presentation on anger management because I cover this topic all the time with mostly youths.
One of the first things I ask young people is when you angry what is body response to anger. All of us need to know the signs that indicate when we are getting angry. These signs come firstly from our bodies. I have found that many people do not know the first physical signs that they are getting angry. Signs vary from person to person and its important for each one of us to be aware of this. There is a list of things that can happen and you need to pay attention.
You can;
start sweating,
get red or go pale,
get a headache,
eyes hurt,
eyes get larger,
breath faster,
muscles tighten in body, face arms,
veins pop out,
grind your teeth,
fist your hands,
creased forehead,
and the list goes on and varies from person to person. Understanding the physical signs that you are getting angry is the first step in anger management and effective control.

The second step to anger management is identifying the triggers. Triggers are the events, persons, situation, memories etc. that makes us angry. Usually it is the same exact things that make us angry over and over again. Sometimes we really have to choose and ask ourselves important questions like do I really need to be angry at this today. Knowing what triggers our anger and maybe choosing a different strategy beside getting angry, can be helpful in problem solving and curbing anger.

The third vital step is to know what works at calming yourself down. There are various ways each person calm themselves down. The calming down process can only take place when we are now becoming aware that we are angry. Therefore the indicator to calm down will come from the initial body responses that says to us “hey I am getting angry”. All of us have varying degrees of anger. So our anger can range from irritated, to annoyed, to vexed, to angry, to ranging angry and out of control. The calming down process has to start at the first signs of anger, so that will be the annoyed and vexed period. Here is where we want to at this stage;
take 3 or 4 deep breaths and let them out slowly,
we can count from 1-20 slowly in our minds,
we can walk away,
take a walk,
take a cold drink,
listen to music,
do an physical activity like exercising,
take a cold shower
and the list goes on.

When we feel angry going into raging angry some of the things we can do is;
beat up on a pillow or cushion,
tear paper like newspapers,
jump up and down,
go outside and scream,
scream into a pillow,

These are the vital steps to anger management. This process obviously has to be altered from person to person. Some triggers are harder to control than others, because the roots go deeper and usually require therapy to overcome this deep rooted source of anger. But in a nutshell this is the skeleton of the process to anger management.

So the next time you get angry take a deep breath and decide if this situation is really worth you getting angry today…..

Jenna Samaroo